Purim Play 2
PURIM
Celebrations
2003
2004
2005
2006
2007
2008
2009
Additional
Purim Plays
The
Story of
Esther
A Traditional
Purim Parody
Please feel free to copy and use the play and songs. I only ask that you let me know that you are and that you include the personal information at the top of the play. I'd also love to see some photos from your performance - so please email me a few.
Purim Wars
Story & All Song Lyrics by Curtis & Carolyn Loftin - 2009
With a little help from my friend Liran Zamir in Bat-Yam, IsraelCurtis & Carolyn Loftin
5149 E. NC 10 Hwy.
Catawba NC 28609
828-241-2233
cdloftin@charter.net
http://curtis.loftinnc.com
Purim Wars is a Purim science-fiction parody with character names that just might sound a little familiar - so will the many "catch phrases" from your favorite TV Shows and Movies. Cast of Characters: Narrator: Keeps the story going Lei-Esther: A Jewish girl who must try to save her people Morde'Chai Kenobi: Lei-Esther's Cousin & Guardian King James T. Kirk'shuerus: Gentile King of Shushan Queen Vashti: The de-throned Queen Darth Haman: The evil villain in our story Zeresh: Darth Haman's wife Yoda: The King's Advisor C3PO: One of the King's Android Police Officers
On Purim
Tune: Downtown
Lyrics: Curtis & Carolyn Loftin
We’re here today to remember God’s goodness and to celebrate, Purim,
How Esther hidden until she was needed, to HaShem we sing, on Purim.
Haman hatched a plot to annihilate the Jews,
He planned to get rid of Mordechai, too,
Thought he couldn’t lose.
Built a big gallows there,
For doing great evil, he had a great flare!
On Purim - Haman cast the lot!
On Purim - Devised this evil plot!
On Purim - He wanted to kill all the Jews!
Morde'Chai told Lei-Esther to plead for her people before the King, on Purim,
God had placed her there this message to bring, “for such a time as this”, on Purim.
She fasted and she prayed before approaching the King,
Extending his scepter, he said, “Ask me anything,
You want of me”…
I’ll give you a half of all I own,
Sim-ply ask me, what do you want?”
Lei-Esther - you are his queen!
Lei-Esther - so ask him anything!
Lei-Esther - You’ve found favor with him!
Haughty & proud and thinking “No Jews allowed” Haman felt in control, on Purim,
Imagine his shock, when he finally took stock of what the Queen told them, on Purim.
Haman should have never touched the apple of God’s eye,
He’ll be hanging from gallows beneath the deep blue sky,
He’s gonna lose!
The days are much brighter now,
We can forget all our troubles, forget all our cares!
Purim, God’s people cannot lose!
Purim, That’s gotta be good news!,
Purim, God’s watching out for the Jews!MUSIC: Star Wars Theme
NARRATOR:
*A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…[*(Star Wars)]
(PAUSE until STAR WARS THEME Finishes)
It’s sometimes called the Feast of Lots … often called the Feast of Esther … but is usually called the Feast of Purim. Esther 9:28 These days should be remembered and observed in every generation by every family, and in every province, and in every city. And these days of Purim should never cease to be celebrated by the Jews, nor should the memory of them die out among their descendants.
Welcome! Welcome! Welcome! Welcome one! Welcome all! Let me tell you a little about the characters in our story tonight.
This is Lei-Esther, a beautiful Jewish girl… with a destiny. You’ll learn more about her later. Lei-Esther: My family and friends call me Hadassah, but in Shushan you have to be careful not to let just “everyone” know that you’re Jewish, so I prefer to be called Lei-Esther. King James T. Kirk’shuerus: *Yabba Dabba Do! **Who loves you, baby? Every story needs a hero…a real “He-Man”. … John Wayne, Luke Skywalker and The Terminator - all rolled into one! That’s me. King James T. Kirk’shuerus. I’m the King of Persia Media. ***Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side.
[*(Fred Flintstone, The Flintstones), **(Kojak, Kojak), ***(Han Solo: Star Wars)]
(King Pulls out his laser weapon to show it off)
NARRATOR: If you haven’t figured it out yet, that is the King - James T. Kirk’shuerus! He’s rather distinguished looking…don’t you think? But don’t let those good looks fool you - he doesn’t have an ounce of “royal” blood in his veins.
(Whispering) He “bought” his position ….he used to be a stable-keeper! King Kirk’shuerus has chosen Shushan as his capital because of the Jewish craftsmen who live there. He wants a palace modeled after that of the Jewish King, Solomon.
NARRATOR: This is King James T. Kirk’shuerus’ wife, Queen Vashti. She’s the one with royal blood, from the family of King Nebuchadnezzar…she’s his granddaughter. The King’s only real claim to the throne stems from Vashti, and they both know this very well.
(Whispering) She continually reminds him of it, too! He married her, thinking she would add validity to his kingship. She’s got a pretty BIG phaser, too, and thinks it “ought” to be BIGGER than “his” … if you know what I mean!
VASHTI: Enough already! I’m Vashti! *What you see is what you get! I’m the Queen of Persia Media. I’m SO tired of the King trying to impress everyone! Given the opportunity, I’d dump that loser in a heart-beat!
[*(Geraldine, The Flip Wilson Show)]
NARRATOR: Some of you may recognize the Jew, Morde-Chai KENOBI. He was exiled from Israel by King Nebuchadnezzar years ago. Those Jews, *They take a licking and keep on ticking. They never give up. **They keep going and going and going! Morde-Chai KENOBI is a godly man and often sits by the gates of the city, talking with everyone he sees about the Force and the Great Book. He’s wise and well respected by all…. ***Fighting for truth, justice and the American way!
[*(Timex Watches), **(Energizer Batteries), ***(Superman, The Adventures of Superman)]
Morde'Chai KENOBI: Yes, I’m Jewish. I’m Morde-Chai Kenobi. Some folks call me Obi-Wan Kenobi, but I’ve not really been called that in a LONG TIME except by my cousin Lei-Esther. I’m from the Tribe of Benjamin and many of my neighbors even call me Ben - Ben Kenobi! Still, I prefer to be called Morde-Chai. We Jews have never asked for trouble, but the Force seems to continually bless us with an ample supply.
NARRATOR: Every story has a villain. In this one, it’s this guy…Darth-Haman!
(Pause for Boos & Hisses)
MUSIC: Death Star Theme (While dressing Darth-Haman)
NARRATOR: It’s customary to show your distaste for him with “Boos” and “Hisses”, by making noise with noise-makers and groggers, or just by stomping your feet whenever his name is spoken.
He’s from the nation of Amalek. Maybe you remember when the Jews left Egypt and were crossing the wilderness…they had to fight against the people of Amalek. As long as Moses’ hands were raised, the Children of Israel prevailed, so Aaron and Hur held up Moses’ arms and they defeated the people of Amalek.
Later the Prophet Samuel told King Saul to smite Amalek and utterly destroy all the men, women, children, and cattle…everything. (1Samuel 15:3) Well… King Saul didn’t listen!
This Darth-Haman is an Agagite, an Amalekite, of the descendants of Agag. Does that tell you anything? If King Saul had listened to the Force, they wouldn’t be having to deal with Darth-Hamin now. We’d be wise if we always listened to HaShem!
Darth-Haman has 10 schmuck sons, just as evil as himself!
Anyway - you get my message! These were some really bad dudes! Darth-Haman: *Yada, yada, yada! **What can I tell you, Baby? I’ve always been bad! Darth-Haman’s the name…self-promoting is my game. You’re not Jewish are you? …I just can’t stand those Jews! ***Ever dance with the devil in the pale moon light?
[*(Seinfeld), **(Spike, Buffy the Vampire Slayer), **(Joker, Batman)]
NARRATOR: *Nip it! Let’s move on…This is Darth-Haman’s wife, Zeresh. They say she’s much smarter than her husband…even able to speak several languages, but she’s a little stubborn and refuses to speak her husband’s native language. Hmmm! Sounds like these women in Shushan have a lot in common.
[*(Barney Fife, The Andy Griffith Show)]
ZERESH: I’m Zeresh, Darth-Haman’s supportive, loving and “beautiful” wife. We have 10 wonderful sons. We’re so proud of them. Perhaps you’ve heard of them? Their names are Lex Luthor, Brainiac, Bizarro, General Zod and Parasite. There’s also Joker, Riddler, Penguin, King Tut and Mr. Freeze. Our boys are so well known that their names appear in many well-known Shushan publications and journals! They even have their pictures on the walls of the post office! I’m one proud Mama! They’re just like their dad, real chips-off-the-old-block.
NARRATOR: We also have with us tonight the King’s trusted guide and all around “Wiseman”. He’s old and very wise. (Whispering) Not too good looking - but oh so wise.
Yoda: Looks and *size matter not, ... Look at me. Judge me by size, do you? And well you should not. For my ally is the Force, and a powerful ally He is.” I admit to being old, but not as old as (Substitute name of your choice)
[*(Yoda, Star Wars)]
NARRATOR: And last, but definitely not least, is the number 3 man in King’s Android Police Officers - they usually just call him C3PO. He carries out all the laws of the kingdom - decree announcin’s, arrestin’s, jailin’s, shootin’s, and hangin’s. He doesn’t have too much “upstairs” and has a face that only a mother could love. But he’s thorough with his job.
C3PO: Don't talk about me as if I’m not here, you overweight glob of grease! I do have feelings you know! Yes, I am C3PO - Cyborg Police Officer. I’ll be keeping my eye on you! Just be sure you aren’t caught breaking any of the King’s laws and decrees!
NARRATOR: This is what happened during the reign of King James T. Kirk’shuerus, who ruled over 127 provinces from India to Ethiopia. The King gave a banquet for all his nobles and officials. The military leaders of Persia, the princes, and the nobles of the provinces were present. The king also gave a 7-day banquet for all the people who lived in Shushan.
Vashti, King Kirk’shuerus’ Queen, also gave a banquet for the women in the royal palace. King Kirk’shuerus commanded the 7 eunuchs who served him … King James T. Kirk’shuerus: *Party on, dudes! Bring Queen Vashti to the banquet, carrying her really BIG phaser, in order to display her beauty to the people and nobles. I want everyone to see that she’s “One bad Mama!” They’re asking for her. **The tribe has spoken! What’s the point of having a Queen of noble birth if you can’t show her off every now and then?
[*(Ted, Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure), **(Jeff Probst, Survivor) ]
NARRATOR: So C3PO went to Vashti and said…
C3PO: Queen Vashti, *Come on down! The king desires your presence. [*(The Price is Right)]
Vashti: A present? Did you say presents? No, I’ll not give him a present! It’s not his birthday!
C3PO: No! Not a present! The King desires your “Presence”! (Pause as Vashti starts to exit) Wait a minute, where are you going?
VASHTI: I’m busy. Tell him I’ve got to wash my hair. Who does he think he is? Just because he’s the King, and my husband, doesn’t give him any right to tell me what to do. Maybe I’ll go…and then…maybe I just won’t!
C3PO: *Is that your final answer?
[*(Regis Philbin, Who Wants to be a Millionaire)]
VASHTI: Yes! That’s my final answer! NARRATOR: So, Queen Vashti refused to go before the King as he had requested. King James T. Kirk’shuerus: I’m so mad! I’m furious! What will the guys think? I don’t know what to try next to get her to come.
YODA: *Do or do not … there is no try! Queen Vashti has wrong to you done. All the women are going to hear about her conduct, and they might for themselves get ideas. They will despise their husbands…and think they can just get by with it. There will be no end of disrespect and discord. Therefore, if it pleases the king, let him issue a royal decree and let it be written in the laws of Persia Media, which cannot be repealed, that Vashti is never again into the presence of the King to come. Also let the king give her royal position to someone else…someone who knows how to listen to her husband’s wishes!
[*(Yoda, Star Wars)]
King James T. Kirk’shuerus: Well (pause), I would like to have someone a little younger. How will I know which one is the right one for me?
YODA: *Help you I can, yes. Use your feelings, and find her you will. Always in motion is the future.
[*(Yoda, Star Wars)]
King James T. Kirk’shuerus: *One of the advantages of being King is being able to ask for advice without necessarily having to take it. But, that’s a good idea, Master Yoda! Have all the “young and beautiful” women brought before me! Hot Babes - yeah!!
[*(Capt. James T. Kirk, Star Trek)]
DANCE
“Breaking Up’s Not Hard to Do”
(only for “Sho-be-do-be dom, Do-be-do dom-dom” Part)Right Kibbutz step, Left Kibbutz step
Right Kibbutz step, Left Kibbutz step
Right Kibbutz step, Left Kibbutz step
(Hands: Break at Heart, then Right hand Up)*Right Kibbutz Step
Right foot steps Right, Left foot steps behind Right foot,
Right foot steps Right, Left Heel toward Left]*Left Kibbutz Step
Left foot steps Left, Rightfoot steps behind Left foot,
Left foot steps Left, Right Heel toward Right]*Hands
Place hands next to heart and make a breaking action -
as if snapping a twig.Breaking Up's Not Hard to Do
Tune: Breaking Up Is Hard to Do
Lyrics: Curtis & Carolyn Loftin
Sho-be-do-be dom, Do-be-do dom-dom,
Sho-be-do-be dom, Do-be-do dom-dom,
Sho-be-do-be dom, Do-be-do dom-dom,
Breaking up’s not hard to do!
Queen Vashti you - made a mistake,
Now your marriage vows the King will break,
You should have gone when he called you,
‘Cause breaking up’s not hard to do.
The King cannot - just let you slide,
Your awful rudeness he can not abide,
Soon he’ll be looking for someone new,
Breaking up’s not hard to do.
No need to go Va-shti and pack your bags,
Cause you’ll be leaving with nothing but rags,
You should have seen this my friend,
When you refused the kings command,
You should have seen this was your end.
No need to go and say goodbye,
King’s dismissed you, there’s no need to lie,
Don’t even think about trying to sue,
‘Cause breaking up’s not hard to do.
Don’t think about your fancy clothes and sweet perfume,
Cause they’ll not let you back into your room,
You’re just lucky he didn’t kill you,
He could have had your pretty head,
to speed up finding someone new.
No need to go and say goodbye,
Get up off of your knees and do not cry,
Go start a new life in some place new,
‘Cause breaking up’s not hard to do.
Sho-be-do-be dom, Do-be-do dom-dom,
Sho-be-do-be dom, Do-be-do dom-dom,
Sho-be-do-be dom, Do-be-do dom-dom
Breaking up’s not hard to do!
Sho-be-do-be dom, Do-be-do dom-dom,
Sho-be-do-be dom, Do-be-do dom-dom,
Sho-be-do-be dom, Do-be-do dom-dom
Breaking up’s not hard to do!C3PO: *By your command! Let a search be made for beautiful young virgins for the king. Bring all of these beautiful girls into the King’s harem at Shushan. The girl who pleases the king will be queen instead of Vashti. Remember, only beautiful girls…no homely ones, please!
[*(Cylon Centurian, Battlestar Galactica)]
NARRATOR: No homely girls? C3PO: *I beg your pardon but that wouldn't be proper! Besides, It's against my programming.
[*(C3PO, Star Wars)]
(C3PO shows the sign “Send Beautiful Girls” to everyone)
NARRATOR: Now there was in Shushan a Jew of the tribe of Benjamin, named Obi Wan “Ben” Mordechai. Morde'Chai KENOBI had a cousin named Hadassah…and man was she “hot”. This girl, who was also known as Lei-Esther, was lovely in form and features, and Morde'Chai KENOBI had taken her to raise as his own daughter when her father and mother died.
C3PO: I understand that there is a young woman living in your home.
Morde-Chai KENOBI: Yes, she is my cousin, Lei-Esther. What is your business here?
C3PO: I’m on the King’s business! I need to see the girl - to make sure she’s not homely - I mean “hungry”! I need to see that she’s not hungry - and in need of social assistance.
Morde-Chai KENOBI: (Turning to Lei-Esther) Lei-Esther, the king’s C3PO is here. Don’t ask me why but he wants to see if you’re “hungry?”
Lei-Esther: Hungry? No, I’m not “hungry” - I just ate breakfast. C3PO: Is this her? *Impressive … Most impressive! Obi-Wan has taught you well! Get your things. You’ll be going to the palace with me!
[*(Darth Vader, Star Wars)]
Lei-Esther: Why? What have I done? C3PO: The King is looking for a new wife…and perhaps you’ll be the one he chooses.
NARRATOR: The C3PO exits the room… Lei-Esther: Obi-Wan, I’m not really interested in living in the palace … or being the new Queen. I enjoy my life here with you.
Morde-Chai KENOBI: I’m sure you do, Lei-Esther … and I feel the same. But HaShem, Blessed be His Name, seems to have other plans for your life. Quickly pack a few things. C3PO’s waiting on you. *Live long and prosper, dear cousin.
[*(Mr. Spock, Star Trek)]
Narrator: After the king’s edict had been proclaimed, many girls were brought to Shushan, including Lei-Esther. Lei-Esther had not revealed her nationality and family background, because Morde'Chai KENOBI had forbidden her to do so.
Before a girl’s turn came to go in to King James T. Kirk’shuerus, she had to complete 12 months of beauty treatments, and then she would be invited to the King’s chambers. In the evening she would go there and in the morning return to another part of the King’s harem for the concubines. She would not return to the king unless he was pleased with her and summoned her by name.
King James T. Kirk’shuerus: (Speaking to Yoda and looking at Lei-Esther)
*Dy-no-mite!! Who is that Babe?[*(J.J., Good Times)]
Yoda: Oh! Very good choice, your Majesty! That’s Lei-Esther. We don’t about her know very much, but she is to the eyes very pleasant, isn’t she, sire?
King James T. Kirk’shuerus: Pleasant indeed! Very pleasant! *Prepare to abandon search, Yoda. She will be my new queen!
[*(Capt. James T. Kirk, Star Trek)]
King James T. Kirk’shuerus: (Turning to Lei-Esther) How about a little kiss for your king!
Lei-Esther: *I’d just as soon kiss a wookiee! [*(Princess Leia, Star Wars)]
King James T. Kirk’shuerus: *Worlds may change, galaxies disintegrate, but a woman always remains a woman. This one’s got some spunk! I like her!
[*(James T. Kirk, Star Trek)]
Narrator: The King was attracted to Lei-Esther more than to any of the other women, and so she won his favor. He set a royal crown on her head, making her queen instead of Vashti.
Pretty Woman
Tune: Pretty Woman by Roy Orbison
Modified Lyrics: Curtis & Carolyn Loftin
Pretty woman, walking down the street,
Pretty woman, the kind I’d like to meet,
Pretty woman,
I don't believe it, you can’t be true,
No one could look as good as you.
Mercy!
Lei-Esther, please pardon me,,
Lei-Esther, I couldn't help see,
All your beauty,
You look lovely as can be,
You’d be the perfect wife for me.
Wow!
Lei-Esther, stop a while,
Lei-Esther, let’s talk a while,
Lei-Esther, Won’t you give yourself to me,
Lei-Esther, I think I love you,
Lei-Esther, could you love me, too,
Lei-Esther, say you'll stay with me,
I need you, I'll treat you right,
Won’t you come, be my queen tonight.
Lei-Esther, don't walk away,
If I wanted I could make you stay,
Lei-Esther, don't look away, hey...okay,
If that's the way it must be, okay,
I guess I'll go on home, it's late,
There'll be other girls, but wait,
What do I see,
Lei-Esther walking back to me,
Yeah, she's walking back to me,
Oh, oh, Pretty woman!NARRATOR: One day while Morde’Chai KENOBI was sitting at the king’s gate, he overheard two of the king’s CPOs--to be specific, it was C5PO and C6PO--who were conspiring to assassinate the King. When Morde’Chai KENOBI found out about the plot, he told Queen Lei-Esther, who reported it to the king, giving credit to Morde’Chai KENOBI. When the report was investigated and found to be true, the two officials were hanged on a gallows.
NARRATOR: It was sometime after that when King James T. Kirk’shuerus decided to honor Darth-Haman, elevating him and giving him a seat of honor higher than all the other nobles and princes. All the royal officials at the king’s gate knelt down and paid honor to Darth-Haman, as the king had commanded. But Morde’Chai KENOBI would not kneel down or pay him honor.
When Darth-Haman saw that Morde’Chai KENOBI would not kneel down or pay him honor, he was enraged.
DARTH-HAMAN: Why aren’t you bowing to me? *Don’t make me angry! You won’t like me when I’m angry!
[*(David Banner, The Incredible Hulk)]
Morde’Chai KENOBI: Me bow to you? God should strike me dead first, should I EVER bow to you! Yes, I know who you are, but I’m Morde’Chai KENOBI, the Jew, and I bow before no one but Yahweh. (talking to himself) After being around him, *I need a shower … I’m covered with human!
[*(Carter, Eureka)]
Darth-Haman: (Speaking to himself) *The Force is strong with this one!
[*(Darth Vader, Star Wars)]
NARRATOR: Darth-Haman was furious! He looked for a way to destroy Morde’Chai KENOBI and all of his people, the Jews.
DARTH-HAMAN: King. There is a group of people scattered among the peoples in your kingdom whose customs are different from those of our people and who do not obey the king’s laws. These “Jews” are vermin – the very cause of every woe that has come upon us all! If it pleases the king, let a decree be issued to destroy them. They’re worthless people … and they have UGLY daughters!
King James T. Kirk’shuerus: Ugly daughters? Really? There ought to be a law against that! I’ll give you the signet ring from my finger. Do with these people as you please…especially the UGLY ones.
DARTH-HAMAN: *I love it when a plan comes together. We will send out dispatches with the order to destroy, kill and annihilate all the Jews—young and old, women and little children—on a single day. I’ve just cast the “pur”, and the chosen day to kill the Jews and to plunder their goods will be the 13th day of the 12th month, the month of Adar. **Resistance is futile!
[*(Hannibal, The A-Team), **(The Borg, Star Trek: The Next Generation)]
(CP3O carries the new decree “Kill the Jews” so everyone can see it)
King Kirk'shuerus
Tune: Anatevka from "Fiddler on the Roof"
Lyrics: Curtis & Carolyn Loftin
Kirk’shuerus, King Kirk’shuerus,
Listen up, listen now, King Kirk’shuerus,
To what this Haman plans to do.
Kirk’shuerus, King Kirk’shuerus,
Did you know, do you care, King Kirk’shuerus,
He plans to wipe out all the Jews.
If he succeeds, King Kirk’shuerus, you’ll be sad,
For your Queen, Lei-Esther, she’ll be dead,
To late then.
Kirk’shuerus, King Kirkshuerus,
It’s not too late, change their fate, King Kirk’shuerus,
God is a watching to see what you’ll do.NARRATOR: When Princess Lei-Esther heard what Darth-Haman had planned, she sent word to Morde’Chai KENOBI.
Lei-Esther: *This is our most desperate hour. Help me Obi-Wan! You’re my only hope!
[*(Princess Leia, Star Wars)]
Morde’Chai KENOBI: *I felt a great disturbance in the Force. Lei-Esther, that evil Darth-Haman has made plans to have all the Jews killed on the 13th day of Adar. You must go into the King’s presence to beg for mercy and plead for your people.
[*(Obi-Wan Kenobi, Star Wars)]
Lei-Esther: I can’t! You know anyone who approaches the king in the inner court without being summoned will be disintegrated. The only exception to this is for the king to extend his scepter to him and spare his life. Thirty days have passed since I was last called to go to the king. I might be the Queen, and I might be “hot” but I don’t know if I want to take that risk!
Morde’Chai KENOBI: Do not think that because you are in the king’s house that you will escape. If you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will come from another place, but you and your father’s family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to this royal position for such a time as this? *The truth is out there and King James T. Kirk’shuerus needs to know the truth.
[*(Fox Mulder, The X-File)}
Lei-Esther: We need a miracle, and men can not work miracles without the hand of the Force. Gather together all the Jews who are in Shushan, and fast for me. When this is done, I will go to the king, even though it is against the law. And if I perish, I perish.
Morde’Chai KENOBI: God’s greatest pleasure is making miracles from the dust of our despair; I will pray for a miracle. *May the Force be with you.
[*(Obi-Wan Kenobi, Star Wars)]
Lei-Esther, Lei-Esther
Tune: "Matchmaker"
Lyrics: Curtis & Carolyn Loftin
All:
Lei-Esther, Lei-Esther, you smell so sweet,
From the top of your head, to the soles of your feet.
Lei-Esther, Lei-Esther I think you will be
The one chosen by the King.
Ladies:
Lei-Esther, Lei-Esther, you are the one,
God has placed here, even better than a son,
Lei-Esther, LeiEsther, please go to his side,
Who you are, you can not hide.
Oh, Cousin, I’ll go before him,
I’ll do - what - you tell me to do,
But, Cousin, I just can’t tell him,
His Queen to be, was born a Jew!
All:
Lei-Esther, Lei-Esther, you have to choose,
God has a plan, who He wants to use,
You have been chosen for such a time as this,
His will you don’t want to miss.NARRATOR: So Morde’Chai KENOBI carried out all of Lei-Esther’s instructions. On the third day, Lei-Esther put on her finest royal robes and stood in the inner court of the palace, in front of the king’s hall. When the king saw Queen Lei-Esther standing in the court, he was pleased with her and held out to her the scepter that was in his hand. So Lei-Esther approached and touched the tip of the scepter.
King James T. Kirk’shuerus: What is it, Queen Lei-Esther? What is your request? Even up to half of my kingdom. Name it and it will be yours.
Lei-Esther: If it pleases the king, come today to a banquet I have prepared for you … and bring Darth-Haman with you.
NARRATOR: Later that day the king and Darth-Haman went to the banquet Lei-Esther had prepared.
King James T. Kirk’shuerus: OK, sweetie, we’re here. Now, what do you want from me? I will give you anything you desire. What is your request? Even up to half the kingdom. It will be yours.
Lei-Esther: If you really like me… if you regard me with favor and if it pleases you to grant my petition, come again tomorrow, along with Darth-Haman, to another banquet I will prepare for you. Then I will answer your question.
NARRATOR: Darth-Haman went out that day - happy and in high spirits. He called together his friends - Zeresh, his wife - and his sons. Darth-Haman boasted to his friends about his vast wealth, his 10 sons and all the ways the king had honored him. He told them how the king had elevated him above the other nobles and princes in Persia.
DARTH-HAMAN: And that’s not all. I’m the only person Queen Lei-Esther invited to accompany the king to the banquet she gave, and she has invited me along with the king again tomorrow. All this gives me no satisfaction, however, as long as I see that Jew, Morde’Chai KENOBI, sitting at the king’s gate and refusing to bow to me.
ZERESH: Then just get rid of him! The kingdom’s not big enough for both of you! *There can be only one! … and it has to be you. Have a gallows built and ask the king to have Morde’Chai KENOBI hanged on it. **Today is a good day for him to die! Then go with the king to the dinner and be happy. Then maybe after that you’ll stop complaining all the time!
[*(Duncan MacLeod, Highlander), ** (Worf, Star Trek: TNG)]
NARRATOR: This suggestion delighted Darth-Haman, and he had the gallows built…right outside of his own house.
NARRATOR: (To Darth-Haman) Darth-Haman, *God’ll get you for that! [*(Maude, Maude)]
(To the audience) Some people never learn! NARRATOR: That night King James T. Kirk’shuerus could not sleep; so he ordered the book of the chronicles of his reign to be read to him. He found recorded how Morde’Chai KENOBI had exposed the two CPOs who had conspired to assassinate him.
King James T. Kirk’shuerus: I forgot all about that. What honor and recognition has Morde’Chai KENOBI received for saving my life and bringing this matter to my attention?
C3PO: Nothing has been done for him, sire. NARRATOR: Shortly after that Darth-Haman entered the room. King James T. Kirk’shuerus: Darth-Haman?
DARTH-HAMAN: *You rang?
[*(Lurch, The Addams Family)]
King James T. Kirk’shuerus: What should be done for the man the king delights to honor?
NARRAROR: Darth-Haman thought to himself …
DARTH-HAMAN: (Speaking to himself) Who is there that the king would rather honor than me?
(Speaking to the King) Oh, King, if there is someone you desire to honor, then you should bring a royal robe the king has worn and a horse the king has ridden, one with a royal crest placed on its head. Then let your C3POs robe the man that you desire to honor, and lead him on the horse through the city streets, proclaiming what this man has done and how the king delights to honor him.
King James T. Kirk’shuerus: Great idea, Darth-Haman! *Make it so! Go at once, get the robe and the horse and do just as you have suggested … for Morde’Chai KENOBI … the Jew.
[*(Captain Picard, Star Trek: The Next Generation)]
NARRATOR: So Darth-Haman robed Morde’Chai KENOBI, and led him on horseback through the city streets, proclaiming ...
DARTH-HAMAN: This is what is done for the man the king desires to honor! *Oh, the pain … the pain!
[*(Dr. Smith, Lost in Space)]
NARRATOR: The next day the King and Darth-Haman went to dine with Queen Lei-Esther.
King James T. Kirk’shuerus: Lei-Esther, what is your petition? I will give it to you. What is your request?
Lei-Esther: There’s a matter of state I wish to discuss with you.
King James T. Kirk’shuerus: *I'm a soldier, not a diplomat. I can only tell the truth.
[*(Capt. James T. Kirk, Star Trek)]
Lei-Esther: If I have found favor with you, O King, and if it pleases your majesty, spare my life—this is my petition, and spare my people.
King James T. Kirk’shuerus: Spare your life? Why? There is no man who would dare to harm the queen! Who is he?
Lei-Esther: There is someone, sire. It’s that evil man there, Darth-Haman …
DARTH-HAMAN: *I’ve got a ba-a-a-d feeling about this! [* (Han Solo: Star Wars)]
The King is the King
Tune: "Mr. Ed"
Lyrics: Curtis & Carolyn LoftinThe King is the King, or course, of course,
And no one can talk to the King, of course,
That is, of course, unless the King extends his scepter to you.
Mordechai told the Queen to tell the King,
That Haman was acting so mean, SO MEAN!
God placed you here to do this thing,
Go and talk with the King.
The people prayed and fasted for her for 3 solid days,
Finally she told the King that she had something to say.
It’s with much remorse, I take this course,
I don’t see the option of a divorce,
So do one thing, and save your Queen,
(long pause) …From this evil man!NARRATOR: Darth-Haman was terrified and began to tremble. King James T. Kirk’shuerus got up in a rage and went out into the palace garden. Darth-Haman, realizing that the king had already decided his fate, stayed behind to beg Queen Lei-Esther for his life. Just as the king returned from the palace garden to the banquet hall, Darth-Haman was falling on the couch where Lei-Esther was reclining, attempting to persuade her to change her mind concerning him.
King James T. Kirk’shuerus: Will you even molest the queen while she is with me in my house? *Do you realize what you’ve done? I know she’s “hot”, but she’s also MINE! What am I to do with you? **If I were you, I'd start worrying about my own life.
[*(Capt. James T. Kirk, Star Trek), **(Capt. James T. Kirk, Star Trek)]
C3PO: There is a gallows by Darth-Haman’s house. He had it built for Morde’Chai KENOBI, who spoke up and saved the King’s life.
King James T. Kirk’shuerus: Then, Hang him on it! …and good riddance!
(turning to Darth-Haman) … and by the way, *You’re fired!
[*(Donald Trump, The Apprentice)]
DARTH-HAMAN: Oh, well! *The thrill of victory, and the agony of defeat! **I’ll be back!
[*(Jim McKay, ABC’s Wide World of Sports), **(The T-101, The Terminator)]
King James T. Kirk’shuerus: I doubt it! *The prejudices people feel about each other disappear when they get to know each other. You should have gotten to know these people before you tried to eliminate them.
[*(Capt. James T. Kirk, Star Trek)]
YODA: (Speaking to Darth-Haman) Haman, *Powerful you have become, and the dark side I sense in you. Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering. Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny, consume you it will.
[*(Yoda, Star Wars)]
C3PO: You’re … *Doomed! Doomed! I’m afraid you’ve gotten yourself into some deep trouble this time, sir! …and you’ll not be “fully functioning” when we finish with you! Come along with me. (C3PO leads Darth-Haman away with the hangman’s-noose around his neck) **Sometimes I just don’t understand human behavior. ***What a terrible way to die!
[*(C3PO, Star Wars), **(C3PO, Star Wars), ***(Sulu, Star Trek)]
King James T. Kirk’shuerus: *There are no good ways!
[*(James T. Kirk, Star Trek)]
NARRATOR: So they hanged Darth-Haman on the gallows he had prepared for Morde’Chai KENOBI.
It had been a difficult time for the Jews living in Persia Media during the Babylonia captivity, but God never left them or forgot about them. They had always been, and will always be the Apple of His Eye.
Monarchs will come and go, empires will rise and fall, but The Force will always be in everlasting covenant with the seed of Israel.
YODA: *Mourn him do not. Miss him do not.
[*(Yoda, Star Wars)]
NARRATOR: That same day King James T. Kirk’shuerus gave Queen Lei-Esther the estate of Darth-Haman. He found out that Morde’Chai KENOBI was Lei-Esther’s guardian, and had him brought into the palace.
King James T. Kirk’shuerus: Morde’Chai KENOBI, here is my signet ring. You shall be second in rank only to me.
NARRATOR: The king took off his signet ring, which he had reclaimed from Darth-Haman, and presented it to Morde’Chai KENOBI.
NARRATOR: Lei-Esther again pleaded with the king, falling at his feet and weeping. She begged him to put an end to the evil plan of Darth-Haman, which he had devised against the Jews.
King James T. Kirk’shuerus: You know a law cannot be revoked once it has been written. But you may write another law in my name on behalf of the Jews and seal it with my signet ring.
NARRATOR: The king’s new law granted the Jews the right to assemble and protect themselves; to destroy, kill and annihilate any armed force of any nationality that might attack them and their women and children; and to plunder the property of their enemies.
(C3PO carried Dispatch “Defend Yourself” for all to see)
NARRATOR: Morde’Chai KENOBI left the king’s presence wearing royal garments of blue and white, a large crown of gold and a purple robe of fine linen. The city of Shushan held a joyous celebration. For the Jews it was a time of happiness and joy, gladness and honor. Many people of other nationalities became Jews because of the favor they had found with King Ahasuerus. All the nobles of the provinces helped the Jews. Morde’Chai KENOBI was prominent in the palace and his reputation spread throughout the provinces, and he became more and more powerful.
On the 13th day of Adar the Jews struck down their enemies with the sword, killing and destroying them. They killed 500 men in an attempt to protect their families and property, but they refused to plunder those who intended them harm.
King James T. Kirk’shuerus: Now, Queen Lei-Esther, what is your petition? It will be given you. What is your request? It will also be granted.
Lei-Esther: The evil Darth-Haman is dead, but I still have concerns. If it pleases you, my King, give the Jews in Shushan permission to carry out this same edict again tomorrow, and let Darth-Haman’s ten sons be hanged on gallows.
King James T. Kirk’shuerus: *Make it so!
[*(Captain Picard, Star Trek TNG)]
(CP30 carries Dispatch “Hanging today 12:00 noon”)
NARRATOR: The king commanded that this be done. An edict was issued in Shushan, and they hanged the ten sons of Darth-Haman. The Jews in Shushan came together on the 14th day of the month of Adar, and they put to death 300 men in Shushan, but they did not take the plunder.
Meanwhile, the remainder of the Jews who were in the king’s provinces also assembled to protect themselves and get relief from their enemies. They killed 75,000 of them but did not take the plunder.
NARRATOR: Darth-Haman had plotted against the Jews to destroy them and had cast the “pur” (that is, the lot) for their destruction. But when the king found out, he issued written orders that the evil scheme Darth-Haman had devised against the Jews should come back onto his own head, and that he and his sons should be hanged on the gallows.
Therefore these days were called Purim, from the word “pur”.
NARRATOR: The Jews established the custom that they and their descendants and all who join them should observe these 2 days every year, in the way and time prescribed by Morde’Chai KENOBI. The 14th and 15th of Adar should be remembered and observed in every generation by every family, and in every province and in every city. And these days of Purim should never cease to be celebrated by the Jews.
Morde’Chai KENOBI the Jew was second in rank to King James T. Kirk’shuerus, and was held in high esteem by his many fellow Jews, because he worked for the good of his people and spoke up for the welfare of all his people.
NARRATOR: Esther 9:28 These days should be remembered and observed in every generation by every family, and in every province, and in every city. And these days of Purim should never cease to be celebrated by the Jews, nor should the memory of them die out among their descendants.
On Purim
Tune: Downtown
Lyrics: Curtis & Carolyn Loftin
We’re here today to remember God’s goodness and to celebrate, Purim,
How Esther hidden until she was needed, to HaShem we sing, on Purim.
Haman hatched a plot to annihilate the Jews,
He planned to get rid of Mordechai, too,
Thought he couldn’t lose.
Built a big gallows there,
For doing great evil, he had a great flare!
On Purim - Haman cast the lot!
On Purim - Devised this evil plot!
On Purim - He wanted to kill all the Jews!
Morde'Chai told Lei-Esther to plead for her people before the King, on Purim,
God had placed her there this message to bring, “for such a time as this”, on Purim.
She fasted and she prayed before approaching the King,
Extending his scepter, he said, “Ask me anything,
You want of me”…
I’ll give you a half of all I own,
Sim-ply ask me, what do you want?”
Lei-Esther - you are his queen!
Lei-Esther - so ask him anything!
Lei-Esther - You’ve found favor with him!
Haughty & proud and thinking “No Jews allowed” Haman felt in control, on Purim,
Imagine his shock, when he finally took stock of what the Queen told them, on Purim.
Haman should have never touched the apple of God’s eye,
He’ll be hanging from gallows beneath the deep blue sky,
He’s gonna lose!
The days are much brighter now,
We can forget all our troubles, forget all our cares!
Purim, God’s people cannot lose!
Purim, That’s gotta be good news!,
Purim, God’s watching out for the Jews!
MUSIC: Star Wars Theme
Purim Play Notes
Our congregation is fairly small. We usually have less than 100 who attend the annual Purim Play. Since the group is small, parts are not memorized beforehand, but instead are assigned on the evening of the play as the Narrator reads his/her part. Everyone is always willing to take a part and it's always interesting to see who will be portraying the character each year. Props and costumes are added to the characters by the Director during the play, which adds a lot of humor to the story.
Purim Songs
The music for all of the songs I used in the Purim play can be found on the internet, usually in midi form, sometimes in MP3 form.
Purim Wars Costumes & Props
Much of the humor in the play comes when the Director adds the props to the characters during the course of the play.
Lei-Esther: "Lost In Space" costume from PARTY CITY (or dressed all in white as in photo below); The head-piece was made from ear-muffs that were wrapped in yarn.
King James T. Kirk'shuerus: Star Trek shirt can be ordered from Internet (or Long sleeve gold colored shirt with STAR TREK props added) , Scepter is a STAR WARS Light-Saber
Queen Vashti: Vulcan/Elf ears odered from the Internet (will slip over your ears)
Crown, sunglasses, men's pants ("You can tell who wears the pants in the family")
Morde'Chai Kenobi: Kippah, Talit, Tan colored Robe, Gold Crown from PARTY CITY
Darth- Haman: Darth-Vader Mask from PARTY CITY, Black Cape, Hobby-Horse
(used to lead Morde'Chai through the streets); dressed all in black
Zeresh: Head Band with Alien antennas (or funny-looking ladies hat & scarf)
Yoda: Yoda make ordered from the Internet (or Paper Mask printed from Internet)
C3PO: C3PO Mask ordered from the Internet (or Paper Mask printed from Internet)
Dispatches: "Send Beautiful Girls", "Kill the Jews", "Defend Yourselves", "Hangin' Today, 12:00 Noon"If finding props seems to be a problem, try these printable STAR WARS masks Printable STAR WARS paper masks: http://www.starwars.com/kids/activity/crafts/f20051026/ 
STAR WARS Stand-ups to use as decorations: http://www.incrediblegifts.com/starwars.html Photos
